The Entrepreneur's Sacrifice

A great tale about the entrepreneur's sacrifice:

Rob Shostak, a long-time entrepreneur and founder of five-year-old startup Vocera, told a story about meeting one of the founders of software maker Lotus Development Corp. shortly after it had gone public. The guy had just cashed out $18 million of stock and invited Shostak back to his apartment to see a present he had bought himself. It turned out to be a modest Jeep Cherokee. Shostak followed the founder up to his apartment, expecting to find a palatial penthouse. But it was an average place furnished with only a mattress on the floor. "I was kind of dumbfounded when he volunteered, 'Actually, they just took all the furniture out to go to my ex-wife's place,'" Shostak said. "It was a striking and poignant moment for me to realize the cost of his commitment to the company."

It's a more common story than you might think. The long hours, low pay, and volatility of startup life takes a toll on the people who are close to entrepreneurs. "Make sure if you value the relationship with the person you’re living with that they’re up for this," Shostak said. In addition, make sure that you choose your co-founders carefully. "You literally will be seeing these people more than you’ll be seeing your spouse," Shostak added.

Choosing this way of life is seriously not normal. But it sure seems like it when you are working on something you believe in. The easiest rule to forget is to pay yourself. The easiest sacrifice is de-prioritizing everything outside your business, even the things you are really working for -- like yourself, friends and family.

Before starting Socialtext, my wife and I sat down and did a really big gut check. I think there are three phases you end up going through together:

• Poverty with Promise -- you live lean, which inevitably effects your relationship. This phase is like raising money, it always takes longer than you think. Tip: budget
• The Acceleration -- suddenly life gets a little more comfortable, but the demands on your time and to travel are at another level of strain. Tip: bring your family on long business trips
• The Payoff -- can't speak from enough experience on this one yet, but the grass is always greener. Tip: don't forget to pack, or remember where you came from

I really admire husband-wife teams like Ben & Mena, Stewart & Caterina, Zack & Casey. Working with your spouse must at times be the most imaginable hell, but on the other hand, you have more time together. Both physically and consciously.